Open Lettr to naybors weth catz

Deer naybors acros the stret,

Yor catz r bugging me. U hav two miny, they r evryware and r vary noizy. If I culd get out ov my howse by myself I wuld eat them. They wacke me up at nite becuz they fite, and it frustrats me becuz I cant git them. Plees put them in the howse, or send them away. If U do not, then I will hav to go to extreems. U dont want that, do U?

Thanx
Carmen, the Wiener Princess.