Someone help me...I cant stop.

So, I have this problem. Everytime Im near her majesty, and my hands arent busy with something else, I feel compelled to "pull" on her ears. Just you know, not hard, but wrap my hand around her ear and very gently tug and let the velvet soft cartlidge (or whatever the heck its made out these days) run through my hands.I.cant.stop. Its like that stupid bubble wrapping stuff, if its there you have to pop all the little bubbles. Or like the absolute necessity of counting every single slat in the blinds of a room before you leave the room...what? Oh, that must just be me. Anyway, I have a problem, and now Ive admitted the problem and will be checking myself into Wiener Willows, Doxie ear and tushy recovery center. I hope you all will write me, just dont send me any Doxie pictures, because they arent allowed. Thank you.

Not the game, me.

This is what happens at the palace when kids try to play a card game and it doesnt involve her majesty, especially when the sun is shining through the windows. She inserts herself in the middle..NO ONE will play, especiallly in HER sunshine.

Wiener Child Reading Material Monitor

Carmen during her daily inspection of some of the small humans books. Of course the bottom shelf gets all the attention.

Segment One, Segment Two

So, one of the joys in the life of someone who gets to reside in the same house as the princess is the stretch. The doxie stretch is like no other doggie stretch. Why? Because it lasts longer. Its divided see, first she leans back and stretchers her little front stubs, to which everyone in the house says out loud:

SEGMENT ONE.

Then she leans foward, lowering her pelvis to the ground, much like a yoga move, and stretches the back half of her body, and everybody says:

SEGMENT TWO.

Its quite the family event. Even the six year old boy says it. He's not sure what a segment is, but its what we say...I wish I had a picture of the two stages of stretch. Perhaps that will be a project, if her majesty approves, that is.

The cursory bark...

Im not even sure if that is the right word or not, cursory. I suppose if I was a good wiener princess servant I would look it up, but the truth is I just LIKE to say it. It seems to fit.

Anyway the princess, is oh so important in her eyes (and everyone else's under this roof) that she does a cursory bark the minute she steps paw out on the deck. The door opens, she waddles her way out, and before there is even TIME to see or hear something that may be disturbing to her, she barks. Every.time. Just one bark. Her little red butt clears the door way and you could bet your right eyeball its going to happen: Yap.

Just once. THEN she goes down the stairs (her escalator is not finished yet) and goes about her doggie business, whatever that may entail at the time.

This cursory bark is like an announcement really. It says:

Hello World, I am here. All is well...carry on.

Wiener Extraction

Due to extreme wind and rain, the princess was rather hesitant to get out of bed this morning. Ok..so hesitant isnt the right word. She had to be pulled out of the bed. Although she is the princess, she does have to do her "business" outside, and she was less than thrilled about going "out there".

This is not a new thing to the princess..we, myself and Carmen's head servant, T, to whom I am married, call this "extracting". It is often a topic of our first conversations in the morning.
"...yeah, today was an extraction day." or "..I had to extract this morning".

We are drawing up plans now for a covered potty area. with heat lamps and a heated ground...completely lined with rose bushes and a fountain in her likeness.

Ode to "sweet n low", the weiner princess

To sing when we are away from the princess. Sing to the tune of "Oh Donna" by Richie Valens.

I have a girl, and Carmen was her name (doo doo doo doo)
Since Ive had her, I'll never be the same,
'cause I love my girl...oh Carmen, where could you be...
Too far from me...

Oh Carmen, oh Carmen, oh Carmen...(fade out)

Here she is with A, one of her loyalist subjects. He is loyal in proclaiming to all who near or far that she is "the cutest one..."

Sincerest heart felt apologizes (as ordered from her majesty)

Carmen visiting with a subject at a pool party we had: Here she is wearing a lei at a luao that we threw in her honor Here she is playing with puppy Peyton in her garden: Here she is with some of her subjects (These are actually her brothers Joey and Marco) We came dangerously close to beheading the day we took her through the automatic car wash: